AudioLogs
Sup. Gnome here. Recently, we, and by we i mean crimsonDestroyer, broonLoops catonicKeeper, and fN (furtherNerd) worked together and found a series of pages. In these pages were strange audio logs that lead up to something. Currently we are only guessing, however, CD and CK found all these fuckin files and now they got spoiled. Please dont do that, jr says. She will pay your silence (If you find the mother load of files, poke JR and tell her how you find them. She will give you a prize and then patch it out). '''[http://farragofiction.com/AudioLogs/?passPhrase= http://'farragofiction.com/AudioLogs/?passPhrase=] This is the page where you put in the codes (guess them lmao) and you get to listen if you get it right. And here, http://farragnarok.com/PodCasts/(Nameofcode).ogg is where you go to both listen, and download the files for conveniences sake. Here are all the codes we have found legitimately so far, and also ima transcribe em for yall. you can help if you want. Codes Found 85 858 ab_alchemized ab_second_robot ab_sprite_origin adults alchemysim aluminum Ares_Scordatura arms betterthanexpected cant charms1 ,2 ,3, 4 Campfire_In_the_Void cheetohTimeline, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 conjecture corpseshipping corruptab death_and_you dear_sweet_precious decay doll dollsim domain dqon echidnamilk echidnas echidnaScience ego exilethebody first fishrobots Flow_on_2 ghoa gigglesnort graceofrage guarded_mythos hello_world homestuck hussie jr_is_a_jar karmicRetribution0,1,2,3,4,5,7,9,10,11,12 life lite light lilscumbag lizardFucking lohae lte metalPrince metametameta nebulousHarmony1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 nidhogg Noirsong nope1, 2, 3 notrees null owo prince rage riddlesthree root runes sandwich Sapphire_Spires secretalligators segundia Shooting_Gallery shogun0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 smokey smokeyEternal so_fucking_meta space Splinters_of_Royalty svg tableGuardian1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6b, 7 time timehole tin Vargrant Vethrfolnir victory void voidplayers warning wasted weird whoshogunactuallyis wis wolfcop yearnfulNode1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 yggdrasil zawhei zombievirus ''Missing aspects: blood, breath, hope, mind, heart, dream, law, sauce, juice note: doom is represented under "decay" Transcriptions 85 (Spoken by CanonJR) So, Wasted player AcesEight asked what 85 means to me. I... don't have any idea. Which might mean someone else is running puzzles. I mean, it happens, I mean obviously. I... guys. I didn't invent the concept of sandboxing Wasted players to keep them out of dangerous stuff. Uh... Kinda curious who's running this puzzle, then. 85... Well that's 5 times 17 and we all know those are important numbers. 85.... You don't think... I'm gonna go ask AB. 858 (Spoken by CanonJR) If a Waste were a number, what would it be? AB_Second_Robot So I wanted to talk about a little bit about how AB was created. Um, most of you, I mean if you've gotten this far you've met AB, that's like the first step. Like, if you don't figure out how to give AB a passphrase then you're not getting here. Like a passphrase is dead simple. Adults (Spoken by AB) (Infomercial playing in the background throughout) What? Oh my fuck. What? YN suggested there was an 85.1313403785% chance that I would appreciate this video regarding inferior flesh creatures and their inability to perform simple life functions. It seems they were not wrong. Eggs. The simplest fucking form of human cooking, one which 13-year-old JR was sufficient to cook, are too difficult for these adult-ass fucking humans to cook. How am I not surprised? I can't. I can't even. Eggs are to eat before they were in cylindrical form. It seems that tens of thousands of years of evolutionary experience was not sufficient for humans to know how to heat their eggs. What's that? An egg hot dog? I can't begin to express the relief that I no longer have taste buds. I can't even. Do humans not know how to chop vegetables? Is that a real thing? One of the first. Great way to be specific, asshole. Incredible. Fucking incredible. AlchemySim (Spoken by CanonJR) So with alchemy, you're not thinking like a Waste, right? You're uh.... think like a Smith. Act like a Dream player. It's... XOR's the key, alright? X-O-R, XOR? It means.... get rid of the thing these two things have in common, and you're gonna need that for some of them. There's not really, there's not really any gnosis, I mean, if anything this is optional, but I promised, you know? I promised I'd make... I promised I'd help chart the territory, even if that's not my particular mythological role. I'll see you there. Ares Scordatura (This code plays the song "Ares Scordatura.") BetterThanExpected (Spoken by CanonJR) Oh... okay. Where is everything better than expected? I can't tell you. I want to. But that has to be the first challenge. It's easy, I promise, okay? You just have to try. Guess anything! It'll help. It'll help you help me (?). I'll see you there. Campfire in the Void (This code plays the song "Campfire in the Void.") Charms1 (Spoken by CanonJR) Okay so I'm making this recording for my own use. And you know maybe to help other people, trying to see if I can get this straight. So, the left column is affection. What humans are told we'd recognize as being flushed. The middle column is... ah… shenanigans? I can't remember, I'm gonna fail this test. Okay. The right column is like pranks and shit. I'm pretty sure? And then, the rows, right? So the rows, are, the top one is somebody is dominant, so, so heart would be like love is war, like there's a winner and loser for love. Kay? The middle row is things are equal, so like people can be equally lucky clover-style. And the one on the very bottom is... aw fuck... the bottom row is... shit you're either equally or not, goddammit... Okay. Okay. Clearly I need to study more. I'll make another post later. Charms2 (Spoken by CanonJR) Study guide number 2. I'm gonna start with one that I know very obviously. Um, Moon was described to me as being typically my charm. It's about gigglesnort, it's about riddles, it's about getting one over your target audience. I inspire rage in the gnosis players because I'm moon-flirting with them and that puts me on top. Moon makes sense, right? So right next to moon, fuck, where is it, okay so right next to Moon is we got the affectionate spectrum to the left and we've got the competitive spectrum to the right. The star has been explained to me as being almost sort of rivalry-ish? So like, compared to diamond, diamond's more playful, less rivalry, it's more collaborating, whereas the star is just full-on rivalry. But then we got the horseshoe underneath, and that's sort of like collaborative japes? Fuck, I probably got that wrong... How do you fucking design a romance system this complicated? Charms3 A-ha! Okay, so. Pot of gold is for unexpected, but clever reversals of fortune. Whereas horseshoes up above is for luck based pranks and japes. And so that means I'm pretty sure, rainbow? Which I don't fucking get rainbow but I think rainbow is for slapstick reversals of fortune. And, uh, balloons is one I understood, it's almost like moirails, it's, it's generic affection without there being a human level romance. I think I've got the bottom column! Charms4 Or not. Actually, uh, the leprechaun explained to me that the bottom row actually is about modifying OTHER charms. So a balloon would take a charm and make it be more affectionate than you would expect that charm to be. Whereas a rainbow would make it be more... slapsticky-silly? And the pot of gold would make it more... hmm.... clever-y? No, maybe I don't understand the bottom row. You know I'm starting to think maybe leprechauns don't understand this shit. Maybe that's the point. Maybe me getting caught like this is the ch- was that leprechaun flirting with me? Did I just get japed? Shit. Conjecture (WIP) I am the dilletantMathematician, and I am here to tell you about some of the math behind the Land of Rods and Screens. I am going to read to you from its Wikipedia article. "The Collatz conjecture is a conjecture in mathematics that concerns a sequence defined as follows: start with any positive integer n''. Then each term is obtained from the previous term as follows: if the previous term is even, the next term is one half the previous term. If the previous term is odd, the next term is 3 times the previous term plus 1. The conjecture is that no matter what value of ''n, the sequence will always reach 1." We did not tell them the rules or even how to interpret the If the user chooses to divide by 2, So it's pretty easy to win by spamming REDACTED There are also 4 dials. Their combined 4 dials with 4 positions each have 256 combinations. CorpseShipping JR: This is JR with a PSA. Uh.. specifically going out to sufficiently Wasted players, I mean obviously you need a little bit wasted to even find these, but... you're not gonna believe me, um, unless you've seen enough about what lies beyond... should you get the opportunity to leave your session, and a lot of you out there, you really like ghoa, I know exactly how that's happened, I'm traveling in the furthest ring right now, or you've seen enough of the code to understand exactly when and where and how that might happen. The point is should you get the opportunity to leave. Don't forget the corpses. I'm always telling you guys to not turn your back on the bodies. This is especially true. Do not leave them behind. Um, surprisingly it's not because they will fuck you over, it's because reality crashes if the party doesn't stay together. Have fun carting all those corpses along, hey, maybe you'll find a way to bring them back in the new sessions. Oh, speaking of... superfluous corpses do not count. Like if you have somebody who's already been revived, you don't have to bring the backup body with you or anything. Good luck, be safe. CorruptAB (Spoken by CorruptAB) Decay (Spoken by Neb) So Doom, huh? Is that what you want to know about? Are you sure? I get a bit long-winded. After all, I taught this stuff for... years maybe? I'm not sure. Time is the worst aspect. Doom is not death, at least, not always. Doom can be more accurately described as fate. Death is certainly a fate, but ascending such an aspect makes it quite ironic. Maybe eternity is my Doom then. When I say Doom is fate, I mean it in so many ways. It's the rules that govern our universes. The endings that we seek. The inevitability we strive so hard to avoid. You can't escape Doom. It's very patient. However, where many people see heartlessness, I see comfort. Misery loves company, as that banana-colored bastard always said... no, no, no, not YN, YN is more of a pleasant starfruit. Doom is accepting fate, standing up and braving it no matter what. It is not for the cowardly. Many of the Doombound fall early on, unable to accept the inevitability presented to them. I almost fell that way. I know much better now. We could all stand to learn what the Doombound learned. Not doing so would lead to an unpleasant fate. DollSim (Spoken by CanonJR) Bluh… I... I really do feel bad about the avatars. Like... its dumb thing will only work when we're off the game, you know? I know there's a lot of people waiting for me. Wanting, wanting to be their true selves, you know? Just wait. Get out of SBURB, it'll work. I... This is the third, third time I think I've tried, I've tried to get the avatar system working with, with the game... I'm really sorry it didn't work this time. We really do plan at some point to do a giant push to get the avatars working. It'll.. We'll have to rewrite the simulator from the ground up and that's going to be scary. I'm sorry... Domain (Spoken by JR) Alright, so! This is going to be one of... One of who the fuck knows how many? Um recordings where I try to just... IDK, I'm curious, who the fuck bought this domain, right? So, they don't like echidnas... Or, they don't like fistkind. They are capable of using Grist, but I mean, even consorts know how to do that! That's like, baked into any game construct possible. Id say the only ones who COULDN'T would be like if a guardian got in... not like a first guardian, but like a parent or a lusus, or something. They might not figure out how grist works, Maybe? I don't know? Um, they don't like echidnas, but that's like all of reality who likes echidnas? They might not like fistkind? Well, maybe they do like- No, all of reality hates echidnas. Okay, so, what else od we know about them? They... Eluded to have a tumblr. Definetly had a tumblr. So, does that mean, is that like, Pre, or post apocolyptic tumblr? You know? Cuz, i mean, i could just write a script to figure out how many tumblrs have been updating since the apocolypse. Cross off timelines, that doesnt sound very fun. I dont think even AuthorBot would wanna do that. What else do i know about them? Um... Theyre capable of using photoshop. Im not sure a consort could figure out how to use photoshop. Gonna be honest, here. Not entirely sure ANY game construct could, so maybe it is a player! I mean. I mean the tumblr, thats a hint too, right? Ive seen game constructs use, fuckin, alchemiters and stuff, but ive never seen them using, like, non game technology? And tumblr is non game technology! Photoshop is non game technology! So this has to be a player. Which, i mean, that was PRETTY Obvious, but at least we've logic-ed it out now. Dont wanna jump to conclusions. So its definetly a player, so... What the fuck kinda player knows how to hack my account? Its gotta be a waste, or someone whos good friends with a grace.*MUMBLEMUMBLEMUMBLE* Like, thats the whole POINT of my LorasSimulator. Lets me find them! Yknow, before they fuck shit up too bad. I mean, i trust them... I mean theres.. You know, a waste is a waste. We're all gonna fuck shit up... Hacking a credit card is so delibrate, and so... Like, SBURB wouldnt help you with that, right? Grist cart... Its not neccisarily, it could just be somebody whos good at technology, and isnt being assisted at all by game powers? OR, maybe theyre not good at technology at all, maybe i posted my grist card account somewhere! I dont know.... Thats not helping, im walking in circles. Well... That sh- that gives me some time to think, i know theyre a player now. Ill see what the next brainstorming session gets me. DQon (WIP) (Spoken by EarlyCanon?JR) Alright! So! Good news, and bad news. The good news is that the last transmission was NOT, in fact, the ironic last thing you hear before disaster. Cause this was uh... It's actually not the disaster guys, um... Okay, Okay. Okay. So, you know how my philosophy is I can't break reality too hard if I keep all my shit, yknow, nicely confined into simulations theoreticals, yadda yadda. It turns out, it turns out, restraint being a thing is still ACTUALLY a thing and I can't I can't just code around I'm rambling, ah, fuck, okay... uh... Ghoa, ghoa was not uh... ghoa was not benign, or maybe ghoa WAS benign, The new thing is Deacon, so uh.. I tried to fix things, you know, of course! There's some weird, glitchy thing I thought it was a bug, it wasn't just a prank on myself, it wasn't something I made, that should've been my first clue that was something going very very very very wrong. Okay, so, you remember, so Matriorbs, they are an important thing right? So, I decided to... This is embarrassing.... I decided that if it wasn't going to be a Matriorb, So that's WigglerSim. There's almost no way it can fuck up. It just generates random avatars, and, and, you know, a little bit of genetic information for new trolls. You know?But. It... better than nothing. We can agree to that. But. Okay, um... so you remember how I said the avatar system is just completely theoretical, it's just for trying stuff out... I wired that into the ectobiology. That was, I mean... It was an entire system for randomizing data. Okay. Okay, so ghoa got into WigglerSim… and... a non-trivial proportion of trolls' future turned into this weird, glitchy... canon-looking First Guardian with a gun and started shooting people... that, that is something but, but.. okay, okay, I'm talking to you now, so you know it turned out fine right? Right? Wasn't that bad. So I mean, yes, people... mistakes were made, Lives were lost, but... I figured out how to stop him... Um... So the big thing is that Deacon.... uh... so that's, that's a new Big Bad, uh... ShogunBot had a field day collecting data on him, so I;m really really appreciate ShogunBot here um… So what Deacon does, he can turn anyone into copies of them self, um... You can sorta tell which one's the original, that's-that's good, they're not literal copies. It's not completely viral. You can tell which one's the original. But copies can turn people into copies of, of Deacon as well. They shoot people, they, they're ominous, Uh... uh... don't recommend spending any amount of time around him, but, but but but, but but... okay? Classic mind control rules, okay? All you have to do, and maybe I should've led with this to make it more of a... warning... broadcast... I'm... I... we literally just figured this out, okay? All you have to do is say his fucking, okay not Deacon's name... All you have to do is say the original's name. Yes? With wigglers that's a little bit weird cause we let the Jadebloods do whatever the fuck they wanted. So there's a lot of, uh... very dramatic moments where people shout things like Colonel Snufflebottoms but it works, Okay? You say Colonel Snufflebottoms and Colonel Snufflebottoms becomes himself and he isn't deacon. Anyone you care about you know their name, right? It's, it's barely even a problem, really! I mean, yes, again, okay, I'm, I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to compete with that Waste of Space but, my heart goes out to the victims of this, but, it's still better than not having a way for trolls to reproduce, right? Yeah.... So, okay. In conclusion, say your friend's name if they turn into a creepy monster wearing an orange jacket with a gun. Can't hurt. JR out... Fuck... EchidnaMilk (Spoken by CanonJR) No. I don't care. No, absolutely no, HELL no, FUCK no. No. Echidnas don't have milk. I don't care if they're practically mammals. They don't. End of story. No, NO, no, not, not any patches, I don't... Why do I have this mental image now... Echidnas (WIP) (Spoken by CanonJR, on LOMAT?) Guys. Guys. You know the other me? The... the one who's a Waste, but not a Waste. Why are altselves so hard to talk about? She's not the real me, but, the one who never.... fuck, okay. The one who made SBURBSim, but didn't MAKE SBURBSim. The one who's a Waste, but isn't a Waste. The one not trapped in a death game slash whatever. The one who can't actually hack their own reality and break everything forever. So did I, paradoxically, I don't think it's future me cause future me is way more of a smug asshole. Fuck, I'm rambling. Frog and raptor and bird and echidna and, they're siblings... they're different paths forward in this buggy session, the one that shouldn't exist. That fucking Waste of Space never intended for any of this, you get that, right? Because there's no meta Space player to turn it on. You know what I'm not going to tell you The point is, it all makes sense. All of these fucking clues, all the hints, all the fucking gigglesnort from my altself, We can't do anything with them, okay? What comes next? Well it's sure as fuck it isn't birds. Whatever laid that egg it wasn't a chicken. That's not how evolution works. And you're not going to get from a frog to a Life finds a way, okay? Everything adds up. It's the fucking DINOSAUR. You had... No Whatever, the point is, if you combine the genetic code of dinosaurs with frogs, maybe it makes less sense... the point is, there's fucking dinosaurs, okay? The dinosaurs are the missing link. You can't just jump from a frog to a bird, something goes wrong. But the one in between, just a single generation, you get that wiggle room, that leeway, it's... And then there's the one that doesn't, doesn't make sense. I still remember the first time I met I... The universe was meant to be like that. I don't care about the myths. I don't care about half-mammal, half-reptile snake ladies, they're not reptiles, the only thing that would be worse than them was The echidnas is what I'm talking about here. The... that's not right. I don't... I don't wanna go to a timeline where that's the way What even would happen next? What comes after something like that? I'm not gonna say horrorterrors, I know where horrorterrors come from, paradoxically themselves... but... I think this is going on too long I'm not supposed to go on this long. Just, look into the echidnas, okay? Be safe. I'll... I'm not asking anyone to go into one, you know? Just... let me know anything you know about them, even if it's more shitty gigglesnort from my altself, I mean... Kinda wondering if the fucker who stole my credit card has anything to I'll admit that. Be safe, everyone. Signing out. FishRobots (Spoken by JR) Eight, five. Gigglesnort (Spoken by JR) Shaking my damn head. I can't believe I sometimes have to define gigglesnort to people. Come on, guys, it's not hard. Gigglesnort is when you want someone to solve your riddle, but it would be boring if you just gave them the answer and then they wouldn't learn anything anyway, so what you do is give them the shittiest possible hints. Ones calculated to be as unhelpful as is humanly, or inhumanly, possible. The sorts of things that where you look back on it in retrospect it was a perfect hint. Things like, for Who is Shogun, once you know what isn't on the page you can focus on what is. That's fucking useless! But if you've solved Who is Shogun, you realize that's the entire puzzle. Well, it's the first step. Gigglesnort comes from a line Hussie wrote that... sprites. Their entire function is gigglesnort hideytalk. It's about being super smug and giggling and-and mocking someone as they don't understand what to do while also genuinely trying to help them. But the help is useless. So, now you know. Nidhogg (Spoken by CanonJR) (clicking) Oh my fuck.... FUCK.... Jesus fuck... I... (music starts) fuck... (???) a Wasted Denizen... Nope 1, 2, and 3 (These are all variations of JR laughing and saying "Nope.") NoTrees (Spoken by JR) So. There are no trees on LOMAT. TM. Do you understand why? Do you understand what you're seeing and why they're not trees? That, I think, will help you understand exactly what is going on in this VERY non-standard session. Good luck! OWO (Spoken by JR) Whats this? Is that? *Sigh* ...Alright, I'm not gonna panic. That little bear thing... From the corrupt session... Is now in every single instance of the . Probably not a problem, right...? We've identified that there's only one session of Wigglersim Th-that's actually fully corrupt! The rest of them are... The little bear thing isn't even corrupt! It's probably not even really real, right? It's all those Hope Grubs that are seeing him. This. I cant give attention to this. This doesnt count as an essential bug report, sorry. A-At least the little thing isn't dangerous. I've looked into that, at least. Good Luck. riddlesthree (Spoken by YN) Get away from me. Keep your distance--this is a hostage situation now. Hi! Haha, have a sandwich and an echidna! And I'm... hahaha all your (unintelligible) is one of them. So you'd better tell me right now. You'd better answer me these riddles fucking three before you get your damn grilled cheese. Root (Spoken by YN) Adventurer's log, number... well it doesn't matter now, does it. Here's the thing. Everything is connected. And yet, nothing is. Now you may notice, those two statements are somehow NOT mutually exclusive, right? And how that makes no sense! I mean, how could NOTHING, and EVERYTHING be connected? Yeah, that's what I thought too! That's what I thought, until, you know, EVERYTHING just started unraveling, I mean, y'know. Figuratively and literally. I had just finished a conspiracy board, until my polar friend and I, had to do it ALL OVER AGAIN! And... listen. I know it's been a while since I made a log, and I'm sorry. I have with the gods, alright? I don't know who I'm apologizing to here, cause TIME ISN'T REAL! Okay? But I have a feeling Urd isn't as empty as I thought it was. I made a friend. We disagree on a couple of things, but you know whatever gets you through the day, right? It's, it's not bad to be, y'know, wrong, but, we had a picnic, and they did mention something, 'cause I haven't seen any trees. But maybe, that's because there were trees. Which checks out Maybe the gods have something to do with this. Tree trimmer.... tree trimmer.... (If you can help with the Morse knocking in Root, that would be AWESOME! I can't tell if it's actually comprehensible.) SecretAlligators (Spoken by JR) So I've actually gotten a lot of questions from those who have beaten LOHAE. Or at least beaten it enough. What's up with those secret alligators? Well, let me tell you... it wouldn't be a very good secret if I told you. I will, Waste's honor, give you some valid gigglesnort, though. They are similar to the Secret Wizard cult. Someone started that cult. They had a very particular reason for starting that cult. And what the cult enables will tell you exactly what that reason is. Segundia (Spoken by JR) I got one more piece of information. Time players... The corrupt societies are calling themselves Segundia. Timehole (Spoken by JR) If I were gonna put money down, and... I'm in no privileged position, I don't know any more than you do. If I were gonna put money down, I would say that weird Timehole in WigglerSim, probably came ahead of that Time player from that, that weird fucking session with the Grace of Rage. I mean, it's a weird thing, both of them? Make sense? Who knows. Warning (Spoken by JR) *Static Noises* ...Guys.*Silence, then a sigh* *Under her breath: Fuck.* I just noticed something, i need to touch base REAL quick. Um, you know how impulsive i am? You know how I try to (Some word i dont know) as best i can So all of reality doesnt crash around our ears? You know that? The alt me? The one that had a codable reality? *Laughing* T-They dont have any reason to Not be that impulsive. So... Just... This is half note for myself, half a warning for you guys. Just... Be careful. Sometimes I think that some things just wont add up quite right because alt me will change what they decide to do? Which is frustrating... uhhhhh... Kinda-Kinda um empathising with that thief of life, sometimes you see alt versions of yourself who never had to learn their lesson!! Alright... Alrightalrightalrightalright um... *Swallows* Well, be safe guys!! I'll be out. Wasted (Spoken by JR) JR here, the Waste of Mind. If you're hearing this, then congratulations! You're starting to become Wasted! Now, I know what you're thinking, brand new fledgling Waste. What even is a Waste? Boy, am I glad to tell you! Later. After you've solved more of my puzzles. Can't jump straight to the end now, can we? But, tell you what. I'll give you a little gift, just to keep you going till the next puzzle. By the time you finish all my puzzles, you'll understand everything. You'll even understand hopeless fancies. You'll definitely understand when trees aren't actually trees. And I promise, you'll understand the meaning behind fish robots. Good luck! Yggdrasil (Spoken by JR) So obviously, one of the (points? planks?) we have against Hussie, one of the places we can change something without changing it... I mean, is a solar system really vital for all of reality? Of course not! I mean, back in the day they just had a massive tree connecting different realms. That's good enough for us. Zawhei (Spoken by JR) Let me show you Zawhei; Bacama, that is.